1. Everything that irritates us about others can lead to a better understanding of ourselves
2. For *express* service on elevators, press the “close door” & your floor # at the same time. You’ll skip all floors between.
3. To get a large drink cheap at McDonalds order a $1 sweet tea to go then fill the cup w/ soda at the machines. We’ve all done it..
4. When trimming your nails, wet your finger tips and the head of the nail clippers so that when you cut, the slices of nail won’t fly off.
5. When your arm or leg falls asleep, it’s usually caused by blocked nerves in the neck. Stretch your neck to fix the problem.
I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers…because I can always count on them.
this will be my speech when i win an oscar
Don’t forget the hips, for not lying.